


When You’re Alone

by kodavege



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst and Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Slight mention of past rape, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18556303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kodavege/pseuds/kodavege
Summary: After defeating Buu, Goku notices an unfortunate side effect of their fusion. Are he and Vegeta close enough to talk about Goku’s problem, or is he just going to get his ass kicked?





	When You’re Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Slight reference to past rape, I do not go into any details but dear Kami, I don’t want to trigger anyone.

Goku woke with a start, sweating profusely, and extremely nauseous. He lay very still hoping the feeling would go away. It didn’t.   
   
He ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet. Afterward he brushed his teeth and stared at himself in the mirror. He barely recognized himself, he was too pale, the bags under his eyes were getting so large he thought he resembled a raccoon more than a person.   
   
He laid back down in bed and thought over his predicament. Tomorrow would be the day. He just couldn’t take this anymore, he had to do something.  
   
ZzzZzzzz  
   
In the morning he did something he had never done before. He called Capsule Corp to ask permission to come over. He wanted to talk to Vegeta and needed him in the best mood possible before hand. Normally he would just instant transmission to the other man with out a seconds hesitation but he was in uncharted territory and didn’t want to make things worse than they had to be.  
   
He decided to fly there just to have a way to kill more time. He was so anxious. Vegeta may actually kill him for this, but he couldn’t live like this anymore. Something had to give.  
   
When he arrived at his destination, he sought out his friend’s ki, and was not surprised in the least to find him in the gravity chamber. He went in through the closest entrance, and knocked on the outside of the door.   
   
Vegeta opened the door after a minute, drenched in sweat and looking highly skeptical. He probably expected me to appear inside immediately after asking if I could come over.   
   
Goku giggled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.  
   
“Hey Vegeta. Didn’t mean to interrupt your training. I can wait outside till you’re done.” He offered weakly.   
   
“You would be waiting a long while if you did that. When you called I expected you to come over right away using that ridiculous technique of yours but you never showed. I’ve got a strict schedule I like to keep and I got tired of waiting.”  
   
“He he, sorry about that. I can just come back later if you want?” He made it a question.  
   
Vegeta seemed to be studying him closely.  
   
“Why are you in such a hurry to leave after making a big deal about coming here? You are acting very strangely Kakarot, even more than usual.”  
   
“Uh I just wanted to talk to you about something, and I need you as not mad at me as possible before hand.” He laughed nervously for awhile, and refused to meet Vegeta’s gaze.   
   
“You’ve caught my interest. Let me get cleaned up and changed. Then you can tell me what you’ve come to say.”  
   
Goku gulped and nodded. He walked back the way he came, Vegeta would find him when he was ready.   
   
When Vegeta did finally come to him, he had his bare feet dangling in a pond and his pant legs rolled up. Vegeta looked annoyed at his shamelessness and he regretted his decision to try to cool off this way. He really didn’t want to piss Vegeta off before he even got to say his piece.   
   
To his surprise Vegeta sighed, took off his boots and sat down next to him, dipping his feet in the water as well.   
   
“Kakarot, I know you well enough to know something is really bothering you. You are behaving oddly and you look like death. Tell me what all the fuss you’re making is about.”  
   
 Goku gulped. ‘Here goes.’  
   
“Okay but try not to kill me.”  
   
Vegeta nodded. “Alright.”  
   
“Ha ha, well you see, since we fused I’ve been having these dreams...”  
   
Vegeta scoffed. “All this drama over dreams, really Kakarot?”  
   
“These are really weird dreams, that I don’t understand and I’m not sure they’re coming from me.”  
   
“What do you mean?”   
   
“I, Uh, well....” Goku scratched his nose.  
   
“Spit it out, Kakarot.”  
   
“Honestly Vegeta, I think they may be your dreams.”  
   
He glanced over at the other man without turning. He noticed Vegeta tense up.  
   
“Maybe not dreams, but your thoughts or memories... The things I dream about are so foreign and unknown to me I don’t see how they could come from me.” He repeated.   
   
“And why do you assume they are from me?” Vegeta gritted his teeth together.  
   
“Because they are about you.” Goku whispered. He closed his eyes tight, attempting to block images that were threatening to appear. He did not need that right now.  
   
Vegeta’s breath hitched but he didn’t say anything.  
   
“Vegeta I don’t know if they are real or not, but if they are truly your memories than I am very sorry for seeing things that weren’t meant for me but I don’t have any control over it.”  
   
“And please do tell, what is happening in these dreams?”  
   
“Well you are younger and Freiza is... hurting you.”  
   
He purposely looked away from Vegeta to save him what dignity he could in the situation.  
   
He didn’t bother to elaborate. Vegeta would either not know what he was talking about... or he would.   
   
 Vegeta powered up to Super Saiyan 2 and Goku didn’t have time to prepare for the attack. He was thrown into to the pond and gasped and sputtered as he swallowed water. He was yanked back up out of the water and thrown roughly by his hair back across the yard. He rolled over and threw up water.   
   
Vegeta was back on him in seconds, kicking in his ribs, breaking at least one, punching in his face, using both his fists grasped together to pound his entire body in the ground. He was everywhere at once, striking fast and with deadly accuracy.   
   
Goku coughed up blood but didn’t move to defend himself. Vegeta needed this, and Goku would not raise a hand against him.   
   
Goku could take a lot of punishment, but without powering up, taking the full force of Vegeta’s attacks took it’s toll on him. He screamed out in excruciating pain. His cry seemed to pull Vegeta out of his haze.   
   
“Kakarot?” He heard Vegeta ask tentatively.  
   
He tried to respond but could only groan in response. Vegeta landed by him, and pushed him on his back. He hissed in pain.  
   
“Idiot, why didn’t you fight back?”  
   
“Not hurt you.” He managed to gasp out before coughing up more blood.   
   
“Dumb ass.” Vegeta growled. He flew away and Goku’s eyes filled with tears. He hadn’t meant to upset the other man so much. He just couldn’t live with these dreams anymore. He truly hoped that talking with Vegeta about this would help.   
   
He tried to focus enough to instant transmission somewhere to get help. Vegeta had thoroughly kicked his ass this time. It reminded him of when they first fought and he ended up in the hospital.  
Despite his predicament he smiled to himself.  
   
He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. 

‘Maybe I have a concussion?’

He couldn’t focus enough to find a ki other than the shining beacon that was Vegeta. A ki that seemed to be coming closer. That wasn’t right. 

‘Is Vegeta going to go through with his old threats and finally kill me?’

He knew he wouldn’t stop him, not that he could do anything about it now.   
   
He was surprised when Vegeta landed beside him, and again placed his hands on him tenderly. He suddenly felt a wave of deja vu. He could almost hear Vegeta speaking out loud, ‘Shh, Kakarot. I’m here.’  
   
‘How many times has this man comforted me when I was injured? How many times had he jumped in the way to save me from an attack? How could he simultaneously hate me and show me so much compassion?’ Goku’s head spun.  
   
His train of thought was interrupted by a small object being placed on his lips. He began to chew automatically at the familiar feeling of a senzu bean entering his mouth. He swallowed it with much difficulty and closed his eyes waiting for it to take effect. As his body began to heal he finally registered that Vegeta’s hand was still on his shoulder.   
   
“Vegeta?” He whispered.

 Vegeta didn’t respond but his grip never wavered. After a few minutes he opened his eyes and immediately was met with Vegeta’s own staring at him with a look he had never seen before.   
   
“Why didn’t you fight back? Do you think I’m weak? Are you disgusted with me now?” 

His words harsh but they lacked their normal bite. Being so close, Goku thought Vegeta looked vulnerable when he spoke.   
   
“No Vegeta it wasn’t like that." He cleared his throat."I overstepped my bounds however unintentionally and didn’t think I had the right to hit you back.”  
   
Vegeta searches his eyes, but seemingly found he was speaking the truth.  
   
“Idiot.”  
   
Now fully healed and feeling better about Vegeta’s interactions he just smiled.   
   
“Kakarot, about what you saw.” He looked away in shame.  
   
“It’s okay Vegeta. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just wanted you to hear it from me. I figured it would be worse if you found out some other way.” He smiled sadly, but the other man still looked down at the ground.   
   
Vegeta’s looked like his thoughts were frantic.   
   
“Hey, it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone and I won’t ever bring it up again.”  
   
Vegeta looked apprehensive but met his gaze again.  
   
“Vegeta,” Goku sighed, “I am here for you no matter what. If you need someone to talk to or someone to hit you can always count on me.” Goku beamed.   
   
“Don’t you have questions?”  
   
“Oh yeah, tons! Like I said I don’t really understand this stuff, but I respect your privacy and don’t want to pry.”  
   
Vegeta’s face contorted into what could only be described as angry confusion.  
   
“Hey I mean it.”  
   
“Very well.” Vegeta got up and held out his hand. Goku took it and stood up slowly. “Let us never speak of this again.”  
   
-  
   
True to his word Goku never brought it up ever again. Thankfully the dreams lessened until finally they faded away.  
   
'So talking to him about was the right thing to do!' He beamed to himself.   
   
He did still have questions, but he didn't want to betray Vegeta's trust. He had to talk to somebody that wouldn't connect his questions to Vegeta or ask around about why he was asking in case it got back to someone who could put it together. He was worried there was no one who fit that description so he stayed silent.   
   
Vegeta treated him a little different afterwards. Around others he was a little meaner but in the brief periods of time they were alone he was actually a little nicer towards him less angry and not quite as condescending. Anyone else may not have even noticed. But it made Goku happy. He had always wished to befriend the disgruntled Prince and it seemed like since he came back and since they fused they had developed something similar to a friendship.   
   
Everything changed when Lord Beerus came. Once they started training together they practically spent every second of every day together. At first Vegeta was obviously against this idea, but Goku thought he warmed up to him nicely. He knew that somewhere underneath that gruff exterior he at least liked Goku a little bit. So he took his bad attitude and insults in stride.   
   
'Maybe that's just how he expresses himself.'  
   
They slept in the same room, and it didn't take long for Goku to realize that Vegeta had nightmares or maybe night terrors. He never once acknowledged them, trying to save the other man's pride - never again wanting to put him in that position. But he did wish he could do something for his friend, but Vegeta did not want sympathy or pity. So he did the best he could to treat Vegeta like normal.   
   
They fell into a routine, comfortable with each other's presence. Vegeta never relayed anything too private and personal, but he did seem to enjoy listening to Goku's many crazy tales of his childhood. He especially seemed to enjoy the story of how he and Bulma met.  
   
That comfortableness came with them when they stayed in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber for three years without another single living being.   
   
***  
   
Goku laid on the floor, panting.

“Well you sure don’t make it easy on me. Every time we fight you show me flaws I never even knew I had.”

And so it went, they fought together, training. Trying to build their strength, technique, and defenses. They had three years to go but they didn’t want to waste any of it. 

It didn’t take long for the night terrors to come. Goku did his best to ignore them, knowing in all likelihood Vegeta knew that he knew.

One night however he awoke to a hard punch in his chest. He was half asleep, startled and confused. Nothing was made clearer when he realized it was Vegeta who had punched him. Vegeta was standing over him next to the bed. He wasn’t moving or looking anywhere in particular.

‘Is he still asleep?’

“Geta?”

Nothing

“Hey Vegeta!”

Still nothing.

He moved over and began waving his hand in his face. No reaction.

He placed his hand on Vegeta’s shoulder and all hell broke loose. Vegeta was jolted awake, confused where he was, and ready to fight. He got in a few hits that Goku tried to block, before moving around the angry man to get some distance between them.

“Vegeta it’s me, Goku.” He said soothingly trying to get back Vegeta back to reality.

“Kakarot?”

“Yeah it’s me.”

“What am I doing here?”

“Well um, we’re in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber and I think you were sleep walking.”

“Sleep walking?”

“Yeah, you were standing over my bed and totally zoned out.”

“Is that all?” His usual gruffness was returning.

“Well um, you kinda punched me. Hard”

He giggled and rubbed his chest.

Vegeta said nothing.

‘What should I say? I don’t want to make it worse.’

“Hey Vegeta, lets just go back to bed. I’m pretty tired.”

He didn’t hear a response but he heard shuffling and movement that sounded like him getting back in bed.

The next morning Vegeta surprised him with breakfast. Usually they shared the labor as equally as possible. 

As they were sitting to eat, Vegeta was especially quiet but he also looked a little nervous. Goku was lost on how to fix the situation so he said nothing, doing his best not to look over too much at the other man.

“Hey Vegeta?” He asked trying to get his attention.

“Wait Kakarot, I want to tell you something and I’m trying to think of what to say.” 

Goku nodded but didn’t reply. He finished his breakfast and when it became apparent that Vegeta still wasn’t ready he got up and washed the dishes. He hung back for a minute but the man was still lost in the thought. He went to tidy up his bed and surrounding area, when he looked back over, Vegeta hadn’t moved and still had the same far off look on his face.

Goku growing board decided to lay down with an arm over his eyes to block out the white blinding light of the abyss.

He feels a shift on his mattress, but doesn’t move. He wants to make sure Vegeta is comfortable. After Vegeta says nothing for a few minutes he raises his hand slowly and deliberately to show he is awake and also to check on Vegeta. He is blushing wildly and staring straight as if he was determined not to look at Goku. Goku lowers his hand back down.

“Kakarot about last night.” He took in a deep breath, Goku still says nothing. “I was taken into Freiza’s ship at a very young age. A lot of... unpleasant things happened and some times I relive them in my dreams. It is one of my greatest secrets. I fear it makes me less of a warrior.” He spoke quickly and it felt like he had been grabbing the blanket very hard with both hands as he talked.

“Vegeta,” Goku spoke without lifting his arm. “You are the greatest warrior. This doesn’t make you weak, it makes you so strong to come out of that still intact. I know you strive to better everyday.”

Goku stopped talking afraid he would say something stupid. He finally looked up and saw Vegeta standing there with that same tender look he sometimes got.

“Hey, I told you I am here for you no matter what. Whatever you need. Can I,” he cleared his throat, “hug you? Would that help.”

Vegeta looked surprised then nodded once slightly. 

‘Oh wow I expected him to say no.’

Goku got up and very slowly with his hands up where they could be seen. He pulled Vegeta into a loose hug. He didn’t want to scare him by holding him too tightly. For Goku it was like the world finally made since. Vegeta fit perfectly in his arms, face resting in the crook of neck.  
Vegeta never actually relaxes or returned the hug, but it must have been okay because he never pushed him away. Finally Vegeta went to move backwards and was released.

“What do you say we go hit each other really hard for a few hours.”

Goku smiled his goofy smile.

“Sounds good to me!”

They didn’t talk about it, but Goku felt much better. It was out in the open, maybe he’d be able to help him through his next attack.

The last thing he had expected was for Vegeta to approach him during the next ‘night’.

“Kakarot are you awake?” He asked softly while rubbing his shoulder.

“Mmm ‘Geta are you okay?” He asked then yawned loudly.

“Is it okay if I sleep here with you?”

Goku sat up, suddenly wide awake.

“You said I could ask you for anything...”

He looked at Vegeta then, and notice his face was flushed and eyes bloodshot. 

‘More nightmares.’

“Uh, sure.”

He scooted to make room. There wasn’t much considering how small their beds were.

Vegeta settled in, bodies fully touching.

“Is this okay?” He whispered nervously. 

“Yeah, here. How’s this, too much?” Goku drapes his arm around Vegeta. He didn’t have anywhere else to put it.

“Remember we are never speaking about this.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Also this will only be while we are in here. I don’t want to explain to my wife why the three of us our sharing a bed. She might get the wrong idea.”

“Mmmhmmm” Goku said tiredly. He let out another yawn.

As the two men settled in to what can only be described as a spoon, Vegeta with his eyes closed and with out looking back said, “Don’t you dare get a boner with me here.”

Goku gulped but didn’t say anything. 

‘That would sure be a terrible thing to do.’

 

-

So it continued, whenever Vegeta had a nightmare, he climbed into Goku’a bed and he fell asleep feeling safe and loved.

It was too good to give up.

Even after they left the chamber if anyone knew to look, they would find them often napping together, snuggled close with the biggest grins on their sleeping faces.  
   
 

**Author's Note:**

> I got tired of reading so many stories about Vegeta being raped in the past and Goku basically raping him anyway when he finds out so here’s my fluffy version.


End file.
